“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~ Brené Brown
January 11, 2017 It was my 40th birthday and I was not in a good head space. I was in the midst of doing some heavy inner work and I could feel a transformation happening within me. The only way I can describe it is I was a butterfly in the process of emerging from its cocoon. I was ready to spread my wings but there was still work to do and I needed to trust the process and feel it through. I was peeling layers back that were covering wounds. Much like the way you tear a bandage off of an injury to give it air to breathe and heal but it still needs time.
It's amazing how we have this ability to heal ourselves but we must first recognize our injuries. It's easy to suppress emotions through food, alcohol, or drugs but it's only a temporary fix. I was at a point in time that my body was screaming at me to wake up and it was not going to allow me to suppress anymore. I didn't have a choice in the matter it was time to confront suppressed emotions and allow myself to actually feel them. It sucked. I won't lie but I knew that it was necessary. I had to truly feel that anger, sadness, frustration, fear, guilt, and hurt. I had to connect with these emotions in a way that I'd never allowed myself to do.
It was so heavy but I released a little each day through crying and talking with people I felt safe with. Each day I felt a little lighter.
Once I incorporated movement into the mix I really started to feel things shift. I started walking regularly with a friend and I started practicing yoga regularly. Just moving my body in motion truly changed things for me because it tuned me into myself in a much more powerful way. I started to feel more connected with my body through yoga and it felt good to push myself physically and mentally. It started to assist me in my journey of self discovery in a way that I yearned for. I started to connect my mind, body, and soul and it welcomed me back to my true self.
This is why I am so passionate about photographing women doing yoga. Because I experience the power of yoga every time I get on my mat. I know how huge it is to allow yourself to go to that place within yourself and reconnect with your true spirit. I am now committing to following my passion for yoga and to go even deeper. I am practicing regularly and feeling things shift within myself in the most positive way. I want to continue this journey and pursue yoga teacher training so that I can truly experience all that yoga has to offer and I want to share my journey with you.
I will be documenting my progress mentally and physically and I'm prepared to get real. I'm going to the most vulnerable place I've ever gone. I will be healing and growing and I want to take you along with me. So hold my hand and hang on tight because shit's about to get real.